thank you

Please help me Lord and angels here and above. I want to shine my light in the world, but first you must help me find it. I have been contemplating suicide a lot lately. Please help me find strength and energy and love and light and hope so I can be of value to this world. I need prayer for physical, emotional, mental, spiritual strength and wellness and a way to be of use to the world. I lost my only conceived child after I had tried a lifetime. Too old now to ever try again. And so hurt the man went off with another, effectively kicking me while I was down and out physically, emotionally, hormonally... instead of treating me right. May he be enlightened and return and make amends for having abandoned the right path and helped me through it and try again? Don't I belong with him if he was the only 1 to bring the child I want? Please Pray for me so I can be a light in the world and be useful and energized and helpful and good and valued.... Then I can help others if you help me, God. Why is he so disrespectful? Help me to be only love and light in the world. Amen